Well first of all I lost another 4 and a half pounds! That puts me up to 9.7 over the course of 12 days.  I’m so excited. That really makes all of this worth it, I tell you.  So lots of stuff happened at school today.  I had a great day today, and most of that is because it was one of my days off.  I’m finally back to a normal schedule where I actually have days off and am able to get stuff done, and I’ll be able to look forward to that every three days.  YAY!  So Ryan did not come to work with me for the most part of the day because he did a lot of errands.  So I got to work and did prayer group and was shocked that my principal actually came to it today!  So anyway, I had 5th grade morning checkout today and everything with that went well.  I had to use the phone to call and get a hair appointment and make another phone call, and then came back in and checked some e-mails, etc. and had a cup of coffee, then it was time to go to Reading Block.  So I went and helped out Ms. Head.  Came back in and got a call from Ryan about my ring and had about thirty minutes absorbed with me looking online for loose stones since the stone fell out of my ring and we have to replace it with one stone…they will not replace the smaller one because they said it would continue falling out.  So we’re going to be buying a loose diamond, so I was looking for those and generally upset and not able to concentrate because of it.  So then I had my lunch and got my materials ready for my 2nd grade class, which I had next and read my nonfiction Whales book to.  I had fourth grade after that, and we finished our worksheet.  After 2nd grade came I called and made arrangements for us to get voting booths for our Young Reader’s Choice awards.  That will not happen until much later, but we had to get on a waiting list so that we’d get one.  Then Ryan showed up, and I told him what I’d been doing all day.  Then I cleaned up all of the area around me and got my desk ready and wrote my lesson plans for next week, then went and turned them in to my principal.  I also labeled books that were young reader’s choice nominees last year with some stickers I had gotten.  I will have another day off tomorrow and will spend most of that day shelving, putting in our new books, and organizing our book shelves.  We’ve GOT to weed some books because we are just running out of room on our shelves, and I just ordered MORE new books.  Anyway, when I got home I did the Wii Fit for 18 minutes.  That’s pretty good for me considering it’s beginning activity for me.  That’s when I found out I had lost 4.5 more pounds.  I’m excited about that.  The diet is paying off!  I’m going to get my hair cut on Saturday and am getting quite a bit cut.  I’m not sure HOW much, but I know I’m getting a good deal cut.  I want something different and I want it to have a little bit more swing to it, you know?  I think it’ll look good, but I’m nervous.

Anyway I’m blabbering.  I’m going to relax. Will write more tomorrow.

So, I’m feeling incredibly irritable this afternoon/evening for some reason.  It has been going on like this all day, and I’m not sure why I feel this way, but it’s really bad.  For one thing, just like yesterday I am HATING being on this diet.  It’s funny, I don’t even care while I’m at work-I don’t even think about eating, really.  But when I get home I want to eat eat eat!  I want to just chew and enjoy the taste of something for dinner.  And that is such a temporary gratification/satisfaction that it shouldn’t even really matter, but try going without that and you feel rotten.

My day went pretty well.  I started out by finishing the organizing of the Fiction shelves that I’d been working on last week and yesterday.  Then I shelved all of the Fiction books on the cart.  Throughout the day I kept shelving the number books, and we are over halfway done with the cart, but I have to check in and unload the book cart tomorrow morning and then I’ll have a bunch more books to shelve.  So that kinda sucks.  But at least then it will be done.  And LORDY HALLELUJAH after tomorrow I have three days off to get the shelving completely done.  And then I’m going to work on organizing the shelves.  I’m working on that all day during my off time on those three days.  I’ve got to get these shelves in order-they are a nightmare.  So I’m going to do that.  Anyway, I digress.  My first grade and second grade class watched a Magic School Bus video.  I got a lot more time to shelve during that time.  My fourth grade class that came in was fairly well behaved, and they usually aren’t.  Yesterday we were not supposed to have a 5th grade group, as I’m sure you remember me saying, and then I ended up with one.  Well coach went and talked to the 5th grade teacher and told her to not take out the class today, so we should’ve gone down to 2 classes.  Well then our freaking Music teacher, who makes me want to punch him in his red face, decided he’d go brownnose to the principal and ask her about it.  Well that is one thing about our principal.  If you can make a decision without consulting her, by golly you should try. She is so overloaded that if you give her another decision to make, I guarantee it will not be a solution that is good for us.  So of course she decided that we had to go back to all having one of the 5th grades every day.  Then after school he decided he’d come up to me whining about how the 5th grade was all screwed up and he didn’t know who he was going to have and blah blah blah.  I didn’t want to hear about that crap, really, since he was the one who got it all screwy in the first place.  He really gets on my nerves.

So my 3rd grade class was good in the beginning but turned to worse afterwards.  It actually surprised me because they are usually good when I teach lessons, but they seemed to be easily sidetracked.  Then my 5th grade group came in, and though they are usually the roughest 5th grade group, they were the best for me.  They did their work and we actually had time to go over it together! I was shocked!  I have decided that I’m going to start alternating doing checkout, an information resource lesson, checkout, then reading from a YRCA book.  So I can at least get in some reading to them as often as possible.  I know that my principal insists that I do Information Resources, but I hate not being able to ever read to them.  It sucks.

So then I had Pre-K and Kindergarten and they were fine.  I have to say the only thing that ticks me off is that my principal keeps our teachers late, and the K teacher was actually fifteen minutes late picking her class up, and they are only in there for thirty minutes, so I had two classes in there for a while!  And that is no fun!

Then after work I went to Sylvan and watched some more tutoring, which I really enjoyed.  I came home and really just wanted to EAT off the plan but I ended up not doing it.  I made some of the soup but didn’t have the spoon that I always use to stir it so it was very clumpy-so clumpy that I just threw it out, and drank a shake.  I just don’t even want to think about eating anymore.  It sucks.  I just want to get past this.  Add to that the long, boring conversation I had with my mom about how I should change my hair and the way I dress, and the boring gifts she wants me to give my bridesmaids, and the boring plain white china she wants me to get for my kitchen when we want something more colorful.  It’s just been a craptastic day.

I’m ready to lay down and veg.  I just wanted to write because I thought it’d help destress me.  It kinda helped.

Ok, so I have to write this, or I am going to proceed into the kitchen and make whatever I can get my hands on and shove it down my throat……WITHOUT chewing or breathing or enjoying it, really.  I am SO SO SO SO hungry right now.  I was not good at getting my shakes in on a time schedule that was good today, and therefore here I sit, starving and really wanting to eat.  I had a good day today.  I taught my classes, and yes only 2 days til I get a WORK DAY.  Now I thought I’d get the 5th grade period off because our 5th grade class lost a teacher and has been split into two classes. WRONG.  When it came time for 5th grade, there they were, lined up outside and ready to come in.  Totally threw me off, and I was not prepared with their papers.  But I found them and all was fine.  I even got the invitations put in the boxes of people at work, so I am starting to see who will get a formal invite, etc.  I am really irritated because there’s this one lady who I work with that I do NOT want to invite, but everyone else is coming and she will know if I don’t invite her because I’m inviting the lady next door, but she is always such a BITCH (scuse the language) to me, and I don’t even want her there to eat our free good food.  GRR.  So anyway I went through my day as normal, then brought Ryan home and went to my new job at Sylvan.  It went VERY well.  I really am going to enjoy it, I think.  I trained a little bit with my supervisor, then observed one of the tutors doing Academic Reading and another child was being tutored in Writing.  I’m excited.  I’m going again tomorrow, then don’t have to go again until Saturday.  So I’ll get some time in this week, but not TOO many hours.  Also, I came home and changed our reservations for Disney (again!) We are trying to make sure we’re being realistic about the price.  We also needed to add a package instead of just hotel reservations.  So that’s what I did.  Now I’m sitting here and am honestly just miserable.  Why the hell do I have to go through this to lose weight? Why did I have to be given this stupid body that gains weight no matter if I put a single freaking bite of food in my mouth.  I am so frustrated by all of it.  I’m having a really rough time wanting to stick to the diet-I actually got home from tutoring and went in the kitchen and pulled out something to eat, then said Nope, I’m not going to do that-and got a shake.  I am proud of myself for doing that but that doesn’t mean I’m not sitting here right now debating eating my freaking heart out.  It is so hard, and it’s not going to get any easier.  It is depressing and aggravating and I just can’t believe I am pushing myself throught it, but at the same time, this is the last straw for me.  I wasn’t losing weight from anything else.  So I will stick to it.  I know I will go off of it on my birthday, so I’m going to stick to it until then (the 27th of October) and see how much I can lose.  Then after my birthday it’s back on plan til Thanksgiving, then Christmas, etc.  So at least once a month I get a “cheat” time.  So I can look forward to that, but it’s not making tonight any easier.  STUPID DIET.

Ok, enough pity party from me.  That’s all I have to say-i’m just trying to distract myself and keep my mind off eating.  I’m going to do wedding stuff-I’ve got to get my addresses done for my mom.

Will write more later.